the home of the wolf
is a castle wall between

world of man and wild

all ride on through change
of landscape though frozen in
a moment called now

he held his poker
face while demon wings fluttered
all around his head

(happy chinese new year...belated)

east shakes off west as
time ticks down and the tail wags
an old shrinking dog

favorite things 17

while walking through the aisles of the roseville antique trove last year, i spotted this crude little nativity on a shelf. it immediately drew me in. something in the way it looked, the unpainted wood and hand hewn figures reached out to me in a kind of kinship. in fact the more i interact with each one, i have a sense that i am not unlike them. crude form altered by the creator's hand, and made to worship the baby Jesus. and now i am pleased to have them in my home, as they will continue to remind me of these things, and draw me closer in at this time of year.

you showed up to make
us laugh to forget and now
belong to angels

the tale of alfie

a few weeks ago i was finishing up lunch when i heard some commotion coming from the shop. one of the guys had seen something moving around under one of the work benches. as it was october he thought perhaps someone was playing a little pre-halloween joke on him. you know, like one of those displays people put in front of their house that move as you approach. turns out it was not a joke, but in fact a real live white mouse in our very own shop! a brown mouse may not have caused as much interest i think, but his color combined with a seeming devil may care attitude as we watched him run back and forth through the shop raised our interest.
in fact he seemed to not be bothered by us humans as we edged ever closer to him. we began to speculate on his origins. there are apartments near the auto shop, and perhaps he had been someones pet and gotten away from his home. the other theory, which stretched the imagination, but gave him greater credential was that he was an escapee from the nearby reptile emporium that stocks "feeder mice" for large snakes and reptiles. although connie's was only about a tenth of a mile away, this certainly seemed to me at least a difficult distance for our intrepid little traveler.
wherever he came from, he provided increasing entertainment over the next several days. even as we speculated where he had come from, we all began to devise a way to capture our new house guest. i bought a live mouse trap that was basically a teeter-totter tunnel which would close a door when the little guy moved past the center fulcrum. he didn't seem interested. we left out peanut butter for him each night to make sure he stayed around. and i even cut the bottom of a paper cup and placed water inside for him. we attached a large funnel to a broom stick to try and trap him in the open but he escaped. i placed peanut butter in a cardboard box turned sideways outside my office window and waited until he was inside and then tipped the box right side up, but the little guy jumped out as i did so. we were all beginning to feel this mouse had outsmarted us all.


and still he kept up his game of hide and seek, showing up all over the shop, running along the ceiling and peeking out from under shelves and doorways. finally his daring got the best of him. we trapped him between cases of oil where we'd baited some of that irresistible peanut butter. the owner of the shop, mrs. b asked me if my kids would like to keep him as a pet. i thought of my wife's reaction and told her i'd think about it. meanwhile she picked up a really nice cage for him. by now he had become like a mascot around our shop. we put his new place together and got a kick out of watching him interact in his new home.


well, we did end up taking him home. although it was agreed that he would stay in the garage. my daughter named him "alfie" and they all took turns reading him a bedtime story that first night home. alfie turned out to be a tame little guy once he got used to his new apartment. although i always wondered how he would adjust to life back on the inside. the other morning barbara went outside to take the blanket off his cage and found him dead. i don't know if it was the cold, disease or if alfie just gave up as he had become a prisoner again.


my kids however, were also devastated. their new little pet, home less than a month was now gone. and so, we had ourselves a little funeral. i fashioned a suitable coffin for him out of the bottom of a pop secret box. (he loved popcorn and peanut butter) and we laid him to rest filling the box with flowers and notes. the kids all cried and i said a few words. we dug a hole at the base of one of our red apple trees and then laid a few more flowers on top. alfie, we hardly knew ye. and then just yesterday as my son aaron and i were playing catch in the backyard we watched as a white butterfly flew past us both, alighted right on the flowers above alfie's grave, paused there for a moment and then flew away again. so like alfie.

even the dragon
whose mouth breathes fire the shape of
man still serves a king

apartment cars 002

i hadn't anticipated posting another one of these so soon, however opportunity and the winds of change have altered my plans. as it turns out we'll soon be leaving the friendly confines of rocklin's sunset strip, and heading for the cool breezes of bayside san leandro, from which we came some 5 years ago now. more on that later, but now let's talk about this fantastic dakota.
i almost missed it as i went strolling around the grounds the other day. in fact i wasn't even sure it would show up in a photo. but it certainly is an eye catcher. i imagine as it rolls silently along the backroads stalking elk and deer, they never have a chance. as i examined the custom camo paint a little closer i was slightly puzzled. were these leaf stencils they used or actual leaves? and why hadn't i seen this one before? is it a new arrival or had the driver been on an extended trip hiding out from atf agents?

anyway, i am curious about the owner, and hopefully i'll have a chance to run into him before we depart. with all the wildlife i've spotted around our apartments of late, i might even spot him down on the fire trail, crossbow in hand, moving in on his prey.

jang town

one of the great things about having a blog is this idea that you are sharing with the world what's on your virtual bulletin board or refrigerator door. this is jang town, created by my little girl. it's where all her friends and family live and play. in jang town everyone gets along and according to ellie it's always sunny there. except when it's cold, but you still get to wear your favorite outfit. so stop in and say hi, catch a game at a&t, eat an ice cream and let your dog run free in the park. see you at the fountain.

ooga!

all of our planning
stops now as life determines
what will work out here

half-dome part 03

above vernal falls we kept climbing back and forth along the stone. we put in 2 more miles until at last we could hear the roar of another falls. although vernal is the beauty queen, i favor nevada. she makes you work harder and if you duck down close to the shore, provides every bit as good of a mist trail. august tends to produce less spectacular views of these falls, but this year with our record winter and snow pack, a seasoned visitor might have thought it still late may up here.
above nevada things level out for a while. we walk along the trail, the river to our right, and talk about the world around us. chipmunks scurry along the path and singing birds fly over head. jake and i both had these great hydration backpacks that proved indispensable even as they dispensed. as we walked along we simply moved the tubes that hung from the packs to our mouths and were instantly refreshed. i felt like paul maud' dib from "dune" wearing my stillsuit. i was a little dubious at first, thinking they might be overkill, but i can't imagine doing this kind of trip again without one.
we soon reached little yosemite campground. you never know who you will run into up here. i've seen it filled with hippies and wild youth, but this morning there were just some scouts and a few families. as we climbed on, soon needing more frequent rest stops, i began to realize that it wasn't my legs that were getting tired, it was my lungs. the air was thinner up here, and as we pushed higher into the elevation, for flat landers like us it was beginning to show. but soon we had broken out of the forest path that had shaded us and were moving into the really high country now. above the tree line. and as we continued switching back and forth we suddenly came around a corner and behold, half-dome!


as we continued toward our goal i watched the activity of the climbers on the cables. they looked so small, like so many ants scurrying along the hot rock. we did get stopped to show our permits, which thankfully i had secured long in advance. amazing. even up here we had to briefly endure bureaucracy. "paperz! vhere arr yor paperz?!" and now we struggled on. up the steps to sub-dome, the last stop before the cables. lungs really sucking air now. as we hit the cables i, just for a moment had my doubts. i stared up the face, my thirteen year old in front of me. what was i doing here? could he really do this? just days before, a young woman who graduated from my high-school had slipped up here and fallen to her death. and the folks on the cables moving up and down the rock didn't inspire me with confidence either. a third of the way up i hear someone yell "carabiner!" as i looked up to see it go shooting by. someone tried to reach out and grab it. "don't reach for it! let it go" someone else said. indeed it was good advice. as we pushed further up the cables i saw suntan lotion, t-shirts and ball caps littering the rock face. i could just see a foolish move of instinct bringing disaster.


we sat on the cables for what seemed like an hour, patiently waiting as folks moved down beside us, even as we moved up. and then in a final push suddenly we were on top. like the surface of an alien world, we were in fact now on top of the world, at least the world we could survey from here. and now in the open up here i felt free. free from the cramped confines of the cables our crowd seemed to disappear as we all spread out along the dome. along the trail i had remarked to jake about all the films i had seen about teams scaling everest. and the thing that always struck me was that after years of training, months of planning and the several weeks it actually takes to make one of these expeditions, once the climbers reach the summit they are only there for a very short time, as both the day and their bodies are winding down. now i too looked at my watch and realized our own time was short. i didn't want to be walking back in the dark and had to make sure we paced ourselves for the descent.


but for now we had these moments. i presented jake with our flag and a stack of letters from the brotherhood of fellow men welcoming him into our tribe. we read a few but kept looking around. this is why we were here. to touch the sky. to spend a few minutes, an hour maybe up here at the pinnacle.


as we gazed down the steep face we spotted a lead climber coming up. working his way along a route, his rope trailing, we watched as he patiently navigated the hand and footholds. maybe it was the thin air or the adrenaline from the last push, but we both felt like shouting, so we did. we looked around, knowing this was a moment that would pass and both of us ok with that. tomorrow we would be back down on the valley floor listening to the chatter of so many people who hadn't come here, who hadn't shared our ecstasy. we would listen and nod and smile. but in the back of our minds and memory we would still be standing here.

there is a monkey
in the middle of my head
making me mischief

half-dome part 01

time now to relay some of our adventure from last week. a week ago sunday we all got up early. the night before i had done all the last minute packing and preparations. although i could have used a few more hours sleep i was excited for the trip. we loaded up the bike and said our goodbyes. and then we were off.
sunday morning is always my favorite time to ride. as all the world still slumbers from the late night saturdays, there is something so very quiet and peaceful on the sunday morning road before the sun has climbed. we headed out the the old hwy 40 route to auburn and then through 49 past cool and on to john sutter's famous mill. we stopped here briefly for water and a cliff bar. jake was feeling a little woozy, and the brief rest and snack helped calm his stomach.
then it was back on the bike to finish out this section of twisties and into old placerville. we stopped again for breakfast here at mel's where our mascot "josh monkey" who belongs to jake's little brother, ordered for us.


after adding some more weight to the bike we pressed on. through nashville and plymouth. past amador and jackson and then stopped again in san andreas for fuel. again josh monkey proved an invaluable traveling companion as he offered to top us off as we took turns using the restroom. we motored on across the beautiful 49 gazing off to our right at one point to catch a full view of mt. diablo in the east before dropping into angel's camp.


past this we continued across the melones reservoir and into sonora. we stopped for lunch at a sandwich and yogurt shop and by this time this main street was crowding up with the summer commuters. after lunch we hopped back on the bike now in the heat of the day and continued. outside sonora we saw the first signs we were getting closer. through chinese camp and on toward groveland. after finishing the long climb up between moccasin and big oak flat we stopped to gas once more.

signs on the road warned of potential 2 hour delays at the entrance to yosemite but never saw them. outside the park entrance we stopped for the obligatory self taken photo. we chatted briefly with the lady ranger at the entrance as we paid our fee and told her why we had come. she was quite impressed that jake would be taking on half-dome as she herself had not yet attempted it. as we rode on now through the beautiful long and windy road secure in the knowledge that we had made it this far, everything felt right, like it had all come together. it was going to be alright now. we had made it...


(to be continued)

we hold on to the
familiar because it
gives so much comfort

a scouting trip

recently i re-discovered the little inflatable kayak that's been in the trunk of my car. the weather was warm that day and as i gazed down our little bluff staring at the wetlands below, a light bulb appeared atop my head.
we inflated the little boat with a handy cigarette lighter air compressor, which was also in the trunk of my car and set off. the wetlands is a home to many critters including waterfowl beavers and even coyote. on this day though they all seemed rather shy. i let my little guys all take turns rowing about a bit while i held on to a safety line just in case. they're all terrific swimmers but for most of them the kayaking was a new event.


as they paddled all around i gazed across the little channel at my workplace just beyond, and thought "so close. is it possible to row to work one day?" and so as my oldest pushed the boundaries a little further i asked him to try and scout me a route across. "can it be done?" i shouted. "i'm not sure" he replied. looked as though i would have to find out myself. and that is a subject for another entry.
but this day was a fine one indeed. as we strolled back along the trail picking berries along the way i marveled to myself on the sweet and simple joys of summer and making the most of what we have around us.

???

i saw something like this in a dream the other night. if anyone can tell me what it means i'd be much obliged...

short subjects

Kurt always carried a guitar pick in his pocket with 37 cents in loose change. A quarter from the year he was born, a 1937 buffalo nickel he found once on a department store floor, and seven wheat pennies from various years including all those that America fought in World War II.
Kurt didn’t play the guitar, but he carried the pick nonetheless in hopes that one day he might be sitting around at a party with some of his cooler friends when someone would pull out a guitar and ask one of the people at the party to play. When the guitar player would say “but I don’t have a pick” Kurt would coolly reach into his pocket, shaking the change around and then slowly pull out his bright red Fender medium and say, “here you go man”. After that he hoped all the people gathered round would nod in approval as the guitar player said “thanks man”, to which Kurt would take a beat, then reply “no sweat”.


Bill loved his daughter Christine and her new husband Todd. And even though they now lived over 800 miles away in California, they would still return home at least twice a year, once in the summer and again at Thanksgiving or Christmas. Once during a summer visit they were all in the living room after dinner watching TV, when they discovered a new nature documentary together called “Planet Earth”. And watching it on Bill’s new HD flat screen television, they all sat mesmerized, each letting out “oohs” and “aahs” at various times during the program.
That Christmas Bill delighted especially in one of his gifts to Todd and Christine, the DVD box set of Planet Earth. And although they were both thrilled to receive this gift and agreed with Bill when he reminded them of the super time they’d all had together, nonetheless, after it returned with them to their apartment in California it sat on the shelf unwatched.
And when Bill visited them on his next Birthday and toured their apartment, he proudly made note of his box set gift sitting on display right next to the first season of Lost, and nodded to himself smiling.

tom's trot

this fellow came knocking on our door the other day. when we opened the door he was here scratching in the dirt. curious. we call him tom and i've been seeing him more and more around the apartments. the other day i ran into him by the koi pond. he was having a little bath. who knows, i might see him at the gym next.
although we may have missed the last opportunity i think the next time he comes knocking we'll invite him in to dinner.