the engine of our
 mind at play now overhauled
in a shop of thoughts

once again the fan-
tasy slips away replaced
by the losing streak

atari age

i've known about atari age for a while now, but somehow i didn't put 2 and 2 together until just the other day. you see, almost 2 years ago i finally decided to put my own atari lot up for sale. it was a little bittersweet for although i sure didn't need the boxes of consoles and cartridges taking up space in the garage anymore, and had mostly had my fun and was done, my ebay auction didn't yield the result i was hoping for. in fact, to be honest i really lost money on the deal which was the biggest disappointment.

time goes by. sometimes i would hear a song or see an ad in an old comic book that reminded me of those days in the early 80's when i would go over to my best friend's house and play atari for hours. and i missed that a little. so while browsing the atari age website the other day, i was a little surprised to come across an emulator for my mac, and an astonishing collection of roms for the 2600. and the download folders for these take up so little memory. so in no time i had not only replaced every single title i had basically given away in the ebay auction, but was playing games i'd never even heard of.

and in addition to having access to all these fabulous game experiences, atari age is the definitive resource for everything else you would ever want to know about the system including scans of all the ephemera, the instruction booklets, packaging, ads and even a marvel comic series called "atari force". and now i am able to tap into a little bit of that feeling, the memories of long gone days when life just seemed simpler. at my uncle's house in arizona on vacations we would swim all day until we got tired, and then came in and played asteroids or space invaders or missile command until we got the urge to jump back in the pool. and now i'm floating in an 8 bit sea again.

deflated

i had a chance to get back to the coliseum last night for a warrior game with my lovely bride. it's so nice to be one stop away on bart. in fact, it took us longer to get through the security entrance then to get to the game (a first) but once inside it felt worth the trouble. although not a full house on a monday night, the place was still rocking, and as the w's built up a 20 point lead late in the 3rd quarter, there were good feelings all around.

but as the 4th got underway, so too did the wheels come off for the home team. they proceeded to give the game away as the memphis grizzlies rattled off 39 points in the 4th to top their output for the first half. our collective mood around the arena quickly fizzled into disbelief. golden state of course dropped this one by one, and as we walked back to catch our train i wondered why it is that we get drawn in as fans, and then let down by heartbreak. certainly the loss didn't ruin my wife's evening, if anything i added a black cloud to an otherwise lovely night out. so why is it that we let the game get beyond its proper parameters of entertainment and diversion? i mean i wasn't the one who coughed up that 20 point lead, and most likely those guys got over that loss far quicker than i did. still, i think i need to re-examine my investment emotionally the next time around, because the price of admission is just too high.

baller

today my first game as coach for my boys' basketball team. returning to my old junior-high campus where i hadn't walked the halls and open courtyard since leaving all those years ago. the gym reminded me of those long gone days, and p.e. and silent reading time. our team played hard, and leading by 6 coming down to the last 2 minutes in the 4th quarter, my fastest point guard went for a steal and got wrapped up in his man and both went tumbling to the floor. the other team's player, much bigger, fell on my little guy and as he did knocked his head to the hardwood and chipped one of his front teeth.
everything went still. i scooped up the chipped portion and bent down to my guy. he was still smarting hard, and knew right away what had happened. i waited to see how he would handle it. after a minute or longer he pulled himself up and i helped him to the bench. as play continued he told me he was "ok" and that he wanted to go back in. i told him he was done for the day, that he had done enough and now still up by 6 with a minute to go, that we were probably going to win this one. he nodded. his mom came over and told me they were on their way to the dentist. as they walked out of the gym i was struck by the fire in this kid's heart. and i wondered how i would have reacted at his age.
we held on to the lead as the clock ticked out and we all smiled. but as we all made our way out i continued to ponder the fact that i had been given the greater lesson today. some of my players asked if our guard would be alright, and i just answered "i'm sure he will".

the deck re-shuffles
itself again as we all
search out a new home

favorite things 14

it's been a busy day. my son aaron turned 11 and he wanted to start the day out by getting a dozen doughnuts from the bakery and then settling in to watch the giants/pirates this morning at 9:30. the kid is baseball crazy coming off a giants world series win. fortunately they won their rubber match today for him against the bucs at that beautiful park that so echoes the look and feel of our own.
later he opened his presents which included a new bat and batting gloves. grandpa and grandma came up and brought him a new catcher's glove. we spent the afternoon shagging flies and taking bp out on our front lawn. and he didn't want to stop. and i didn't want to stop.
back when i was in my early twenties i read an article in a magazine about the nokona athletic goods company in the little town of nocona, tx. i loved the idea of this little town's economy dependent on making quality baseball gloves and when i came across one in a used sporting good store one day i grabbed it. i've had my nokona for nearly twenty years now and it has only gotten better with age.


i also love the idea of carrying an old catcher's glove and a ball around. once i took the bus up to seattle with a friend of mine and when we stopped for a bathroom break a couple of guys broke out their gloves for a catch. whipping it back and forth across the asphalt parking lot. it was beautiful to watch. and there is this beautiful cycle of going from throwing the ball with my dad, when i was the gawky kid who dropped routine flies to now being the dad throwing those same pop flies to my own son. and when one sails over his head because he misjudged it and he goes chasing it down, i sometimes look down at the back of my nokona and smile as the sun warms me.

little green men

my son made this diorama recently for a project fair. his project centered around andrew j higgins and his famous seacraft. he built his model to scale around the little green army men and finished it off with some painted duct tape surf and real sand.


as classic toys go the plastic army men certainly i think make the top 10 list. although they don't really do much except stand in position (or lie if you're crawling guy) there is something very wonderful and comforting for a small child to command a small army. to set each one up in lines and rows as your eyes and imagination travel past each soldier contemplating his situation and ultimate fate.


when i was a kid i only had the one army. some sets came with the same guys cast in two colors, the traditional green and a desert tan. and i always felt a little strange sending them up against each other, like it was a just a field exercise. one day my wife brought home a big bucket with 4 different armies in it, the american green, a tan british desert troop, a pale green japanese group and a grey german detachment all complete with respective flags. where were these when i was a boy?
the thing i love the most though is the level of detail on these tiny guys. i remember as a kid i would stare at each one turning it in my hand. the pistol and holster on the officers. straps and belts. the tiny canteen and pockets. and even the obligatory circles showing where the plastic injection tube connected to the mold. and recently two of my boys started painting some of these guys to add a little more detail and personalize their squad.


when we were kids we spent hours setting them up but i never really knew what to do after that. sometimes a kid who would take his hand and wave it across your army and declare that he had just dropped an atomic bomb, but that didn't really seem sporting. we sometimes use a bag of rubber bands and take turns laying flat from behind each soldier and shooting at the opposing side. it sort of brings the battle to a more personal level.
and then i think of the life my little plastic army man left behind. the hopeful plastic family waiting anxiously for news from the front. the green plastic girlfriend writing letters with news and encouragement and promises of what life could be like if my little guy can just make it home in one piece.

wednesday night is bowling night...

feeling wild today. spring break. kids are out of school. many things are possible...

crime?

while refilling my coffee at work this morning and gazing out the window wishing i was outside and not here at work, i noticed these concrete benches that line the walkways. yes, i have noticed them before and i've also noticed the little brackets that have been glued and screwed along the edges every three feet or so. i am sure that you have noticed them too. they weren't part of the original design but are an afterthought in response to one activity.


now, these modifications don't really prohibit anyone from using the bench as originally intended, but they are there, and serve as a reminder that this activity is no longer encouraged, and as much as is possible, prohibited.
don't get me wrong, i do understand what is going on here and i get the practical defense of this kind of action. as a business you maintain a certain level of liability for not taking such actions. and you certainly don't want to be seen as encouraging such behavior as would incur liability. so although the designers of your surrounding architecture never saw this coming, for you the business to take no action to modify the original design sends the wrong message.
funny thing is it may not prohibit people from trying, and in the process actually cause more damage then if nothing had been done to stop it in the first place.


and so there is a conversation going on here that i find interesting. the architects and designers set out to make a statement and the guerilla psychogeographers set out to exploit them. and in the middle of this back and forth it looks like the original design got shelved along the way and has since been redressed. something tells me though that the conversation will continue.

cuh-razy

a couple of my guys have been sick the last couple days. add to that the rain and we've been hunkered down of late watching movies, playing games and laying low.


speaking of games, i've been feeling crazy 8's recently and so we've had some marathon games.


for those not familiar, crazy 8's is played in much the same way as uno. the dealer deals 5 cards to each player then sets the stack face down turning over the top card which becomes the play card for the first player.
players can then lay down matching suit or number at their turn and change the suit by laying down a card with the same number. 8's are by definition "crazy" and the player who lays one down gets to pick the suit that will follow.


when a player cannot make a play they must draw until they can or until the pile is exhausted. a most enjoyable game that can be played with a regular set of cards.


these however are special game cards. we picked them up years ago walking through restoration hardware (about the only thing we could afford) as a part of a 4 deck set.


the other 3 games are animal rummy, hearts and of course old maid. they were designed from decks originally produced in the 50's.


back then card parties were commonplace and these decks served to introduce kids to the fascinating adult world of card games with games at their own level full of fun and whimsical graphics to amuse, while they learned the art of the shuffle and the deal.


(and i'm sure it gave parents an excuse not to hand their bridge decks over to bobby and sally as well)


ours are still in pretty good shape and i enjoy staring at the pictures as much as the kids do. the characters all seem to have these fantastic otherworldly stories.


and yet they also seem strangely familiar as in a world i once inhabited when i was very small.

domino effect

remembering today that every action has an effect for good or ill. happy monday!

we roll away the
endless combination of
weekends and time here

yahtzee

my wife and i, we have a little weekend tradition. whenever we get the chance we love to sit down and play a few games of yahtzee. it's a guilty pleasure i know, and enjoyed all the more when the rain is falling outside. we'll put on a record and sit down, and for a little while, it's just the two of us despite the frequent interruptions from smaller people. the set we own is one of these retro revival kind in a wooden box that features an older set of graphics. it promises "an exciting game of skill and chance" and "fun for the entire family".
well certainly it is a lot of fun, and although i recognize the chance element, i am not so sure about the skill on my part. we usually play a rubber match, she and i, splitting the first two games. but more often than not it is she who ends up the victor while i must continually look to become a better sport at losing. i will admit though that there is some skill involved. it's the skill of knowing what the dice are trying to tell you. telling you what they want to be. you serve out a 1, 1, 3, 4, 5 and wonder "should i take a chance and try for that straight? or am i kidding myself? let it come naturally". from the first roll you get a sense of where this is headed. you're either right side up or upside down from the get go.
but if you can hang on, maybe change the odds by turning a bad roll into a full house, you get the feeling that you can do it. paying those rolls upstairs in averages of 3 to try and hit that bonus. trying to balance it all out while letting it ride. no easy task. and every once in a while it all comes together, and you get the feeling it's more skill than chance. but you're just fooling yourself. the dice knows what it wants to be. it's just teasing you along the way.

a weekend of rain, games indoors, the giants win the pennant!, carving pumpkins, and more games. movies. and now the sun comes to dry up all our weekend memories and reminds us it is monday once more...