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the winner's circle

one of the great things about having kids is you get to buy yourself toys all over again. at some point in my teenage years (of cool depravity no doubt) my mom gave away most of my hot wheels. so over the years i've kept my eyes open for all the ones i wished i'd had.
this "porsche section" of my hot wheel garage is perhaps my favorite. granted, none of them are actually "hot wheel". the 911 convertible, 911 carrera, 959, 917 racer and the 911 turbo are in fact made by "maisto" which i find produces cars with a more european and stock feel. the 914 is the latest addition and it is a matchbox. we are still on the hunt for the 356 and 550.
at first my instinct was to guard these little treasures and protect them from harm, but as you can see they have been well "loved". this as it should be. for as close as i may actually get to owning some of these they should still be driven hard.

you picked up blue chair
but left piece of your pt
cruiser call me back

journal entry

-journal entry 2-25-03

went to the city today. feeling kind of nervous. not really sure if it was fear of confronting the agent question or something else. i was early so i fed the meter and then went to find something for myself. cut through jackson square to north beach. looking down at the sidewalk saw a marker imbedded in the concrete that said “barbary coast trail”. don’t think i’ve ever noticed them before unless they’re new.
i’m moving quicker through the people now, beginning to remember how to walk through the city. you have to show some attitude. like you know exactly where you’re going. even the way you point your feet. trying to remember where anything is anymore. so much has changed. at least clown alley is still there. I remember there are delicatessens up on columbus. perfect. I walk right past the strip clubs oblivious they are still there. weird. usually i observe something, if not the humor of the whole God forsaken situation. and for the first time in writing this I am amused that the automatic spellcheck hasn’t capitalized “god”, but changes the "me" in first person to an uppercase every time.
crossing columbus on vallejo I see a little white fiat 500 with a painting of the blessed virgin on the door. walking into molinari’s i realize i’ve arrived. i walk along the counter looking for the perfect street food like a calzone or pirozki. the only thing I find is a flaky bread with spinach in the middle that has a name i can’t pronounce and i end up pointing to it when the man behind the counter asks me what i’d like. i pay him with a five and request a couple bucks back in quarters so i can feed the meter later.
outside again. for the first time today i’m grooving. the sun is bright and warm even though it’s still february. my pace is quick and even and i don’t have to stop and wait for any of the lights to change on the way back down. this thing that i’m eating is delicious although i still can’t pronounce it. as i pass through the different groups of people standing or walking along the sidewalk i am amazed how many people still smoke in the city. i pass another barbary coast trail marker and am now wishing i brought my smokes.
as i cross the street i finish the thing and toss its wrapper away. i see my second honda cb of the day and realize everyone who parks a bike in the city backs it into the curb. ready to make a quick getaway.

dancing angels are
making entertainment like
spots before our eyes

lost no more

like about eighteen million other bloggers today, i am lamenting the end of "lost". six years ago when the show began i certainly never thought i would be saying that. for the first five seasons i stayed away. from the outside i just didn't see what all of the fuss was about. and then about six months ago a friend of mine made me a deal. i asked to borrow his first season of "heroes" which he happily lent me, but only if i agreed to also watch the first season of "lost". the devil's bargain was made.
by the time i finally got around to watching that first season i really felt like it was going to be an exercise in pure obligation. i still couldn't see the attraction here. i mean hadn't the whole "castaway" concept already been given thorough treatment? that's what this is right, just a bunch of people stuck on an island searching for a way to get off watched by people who are stuck watching and want to get off too? and of course having not watched the show ever, i like everybody else was always wondering "why do these people always look like they just stepped out of a salon.?" and "wouldn't their clothes be in tatters by now?" and "what's with the fat guy? people on 'survivor' end up rail thin within a month."
i think i watched that whole first season in about three days. netflix streaming helped me work my way through the next four seasons. i was still finishing up season five as the final one launched. and in fact last night's episode was the very first i'd ever watched on live tv. my friend kyle (who started all this) and his wife had me over last night for a "lost" party. for me this was also a nice way of coming full circle.
i won't go into all of the debates and theories and unanswered questions that still linger with so many of the fans. i'll admit that fresh off that finale i do feel a little let down, but this morning as i thought about that last image of jack back where he started, with michael giacchino's sweet score behind, it did feel right and a little bittersweet. and though i got to the party late and only gave up six months instead of six year's, it has felt like an epic ride. so thanks lost. those of us on the "inside" will all miss you.

shall we gather at the river?

city bids welcome
adjusting to its rhythms
it's all just a blur

chasin' it

wenesday this was the view i awoke to in downtown sf. after being lulled to sleep by the sounds of the city, which i am told never sleeps. which may explain why everybody was so loud outside my window. it was great to greet the day on my own terms having unplugged the digital alarm clock sometime in the middle of the night.
two days of sweet bliss with my sweet and absolutely making it up as we went. in fact there is so much freedom in just letting go of all expectations and chasing the invisible and elusive moment that is always right in front of me with a very calm and dedicated manner. everybody rushing? why no, i'm alright. i know i'll catch it. it's right there in front of us.

love in need of love
time began here long ago
now comes full circle

this is where i woke up today...

the toc

i went downtown sunday to catch the finish of this year's tour of california - stage 1 which ended at the capitol mall. this year the race started in beautiful nevada city along highway 49. this stage brought riders down past grass valley and auburn and then across to folsom. they then dropped down into sacramento and ended up on L street seen above for the finish. of course mark cavendish was the hero of the day taking the stage and the podium.
i didn't see any of yesterday's tv coverage, but the finish was pretty well packed out and it was great to see a growing support for this race. hopefully we can keep the tour after next year's sponsor amgen drops out. here in california we certainly have all of the ingredients to rival the grand tour races - beautiful scenery and wonderful roads, and climbs and vista that rival the best in italy and france. and of course a great bicycle culture. today the tour leaves san francisco's ocean beach headed for santa cruz. it should be another glorious day in california.

let's play doctor

i found this at the salvation army store recently. at first look i thought it was an old golden book of which we have a growing collection. but as i looked a little closer i found it to be a "treasure" book instead. i'd never heard of this seemingly blatant ripoff company and was amused at how closely they resemble the goldens. with a red binding instead of the golden and titles like "the brave little duck", "the engine that laughed" and "let's take a ride" i can't figure out how i'd never heard of these.
but it's this title "let's play nurse and doctor" that caught my attention. it starts off innocently enough with the boy and girl watching the rain fall outside their window and wondering what to do on a day like this. the rest you'll have to check out for yourself. so if you'd like to see doctor dick and nurse nora at play just click here to download this steamy tale. (i know i'm bringing my copy with me on my upcoming getaway with my wife, aw yeah)

bright one in darkness
walks between shadow's corners
holding fast to light

impossible...not

i’ve been keeping my eyes on the impossible project since they first began their journey back in 2008. it is a crazy idea that started after polaroid announced it was ending the production of all instant cameras and film and moving exclusively instead to digital production. even as the transition was taking place to destroy all of their processing equipment and shutter the doors of the netherlands factory, a movement began by former employees and a wild entrepreneur to save both the factory and the process.
now two years later it looks like they are proving that the world still loves and needs polaroid film. they’ve rolled out an entire new line of product to supply the imagination and creativity of a whole new army of instant film users. these new stocks have a much greater artistic design and even come packaged in “flavors” like chocolate. personally i’m thrilled that the old land cameras gathering dust on my shelf at home may soon have new assignments.

we move in streamed lines
reflecting the world outside
parallel on rails

inspiration

one of my little guys decided to immortalize me in perler beads, capturing an image of me as a busker playing squeezebox. if you're now saying "perler what" then you need to go here. we host a lot of perler bead sessions here. they make great coasters and frig magnets. a little like graphic design using tiny plastic pixels. in fact i keep telling them they could really score if they started producing a retro video game series. perfect for pac-man and space invaders. i love art that involves an iron...

the yard dogs of a
thousand nightmares are gaining
on our running souls

fourteen

today marks the fourteenth anniversary of marriage with my baby. it comes on the heels of mother's day which it always seems in orbit near. and so, we double dip as i now celebrate the mother of my children and the bride of my youth. traditional anniversary gift guides suggest ivory to commemorate this one which means i may have to go out and bag an elephant this year. (hopefully my scrimshaw skills aren't too rusty) anyway, it's been a wild ride so far, and as we're now hitting stride i'm looking forward to the next fourteen. love you honey.

gerry you are so
beautiful i love to watch
you run tall and fast

barbecuing for the first time this year. perfect day to go outside and burn some meat...

a day like today
will take all our picnic hopes
far beyond the bridge

rocking horse jesus

while searching for something in the garage yesterday i came across a box of photos, and thought i'd post one today. i remember the horse quite well. the older he got the louder his springs would squeak. he also seemed to bottom out on more aggressive rides as i got bigger too. of course when my little brother came along i give up a lot of time on solo rides.
seeing this makes me think of a story idea i had once about a magical horse from an old carousel carved in wood by hand. in the old times the master carver would sometimes do the outside portion leaving the inside to be completed by the younger less skilled apprentice. the idea being the apprentice had a chance to learn the craft by copying the master in a mirror fashion while mistakes would be less obvious to the viewing public.
in the story the horse along with the other animals on the carousel now sit alone in a warehouse recounting their tales of creation and adventure, but speak as two halves, the outer and the inner, sometimes arguing with themselves. perhaps i'll finish and post it too someday. for now i like the look on this little guy's face because he looks happy. happy to ride under jesus' watchful eye.

go on and walk now
take your hobo out a while
and tramp tracks of dream

head of the family

the old dick van dyke show is to me about as perfect as classic television can get. i love the feel of this black and white world moving as a silent guest through the petrie home and following rob to the his job as a comedy writer. and i adored mary tyler moore as "laura petrie".
i remember seeing an interview once with rob reiner talking about getting to follow his dad to work during the production of the show. i always felt like this was a mirror reality of the show itself, as carl reiner largely based the idea of the show on his own family life and work as a writer.
so i was a little surprised and somewhat pleased the other day to come across the "missing pilot" originally titled "head of the family". in this bizarro reality reiner plays the van dyke character "rob petrie" instead of the familiar "alan brady" he would go on to immortalize. and in fact there is no alan brady. it is called "the alan sturdy" show instead. there are the other familiar characters too, rob's wife "laura" their son "ritchey" and rob's co-writer's "buddy and sally" all played by other actors.
this pilot was originally produced in 1959 and has a decided 50's feel which contrasts it with the more modern look and feel the final production would take. and although the basic structure of the show remained the same, there's no denying the powerful improvement and chemistry dick van dyke and mary tyler moore would bring to the show. in retrospect their characters seem so effortless and natural.
still, for someone like me, finding this pilot was like discovering a missing beatles album or original star trek episode, also products of the 60's. it's great to see reiner here as well working his acting chops.
in the opening of the show, we see him leaving his suburban home (in what we would later know as new rochelle) in an exterior shot and climbing into a huge late 50's sedan to rumble off to work. we then pick him up outside a new york walk-up where he passes what looks like sid ceasar before entering the offices of the alan sturdy show. in fact the whole pilot has a decidedly more new york feel to it. this buddy sorel might even pass for a beatnik when we first meet him.
overall i really enjoyed slipping into this alternate universe for a short time. it made me wonder just what things might have looked like in another world...

cry for love monkey
cry till you can't remember
and then cry no more

every day is like sunday...

manhattan tower

new york city can be a fairy tale town. if you roll in with the right attitude of awe and wonder, and are ready to dance to the beat of the city, it can take you on a wonderful journey. at least that's what happens in songs and movies.
personally, having only been there twice, and both times in a whirlwind, i can attest to the magic that is new york. though i did get to see some of the gritty reality of city life on steroids as well. and gritty city life may sell dime store novels but it don't make people fall in love. and that is exactly what this record is about.
from 1956 capitol records this is "gordon jenkins - manhattan tower" about this time there were a whole slew of these kind of stories. boy (or girl) comes to the big city from somewhere - middle america usually, and is transported into the magical world of big city life. lovers meet by chance, are swept up into a romance against the backdrop of the sights and sounds of new york city.
i'm not sure quite how to classify this one. it's a kind of combination of popular love song with a storyline narration thrown in. very cool as an evening imbibement alone or with that special someone. definitely not for everyone, but if you are a lover and you love the nyc, you just might find a place to party in the tower. to join the manhattan tower cocktail party just click your mouse here.