mister new year

you wake up numb. nose and fingers feel like stones hanging from your body. head feels like it weighs a ton. why is everything spinning? eyes are blurry. "where am i?" you lift your head up enough to see that you are partially covered in a pile of leaves lying in mckinley park. the morning light is just starting. you look around slowly. you're all alone. struggle to sit up. head feels like it's on fire. your chest heaves and the cough comes on. god, it hurts. try to stand up. slow, boy. you push yourself off the cold ground and totter as you bend to stand. back feels like a pretzel. can't make it straight anymore. the bottle drops from your left hand. start walking now. yeah, that's it. it's gonna be alright now. shuffle through the park over to g street. pass under the freeway. some folks waking up now and on their way to jobs. you used to have a job. remember? you try to pull your coat collar higher now and ready the come on. that guy scraping ice off the window of his volvo as it warms up. "excuse me mister...can i trouble you for a little change so's i can eat breakfast?" he doesn't say a word, just moves his eyes away from yours and looks downward. you stand there uncomfortably for a good minute as he continues to scrape the ice and then finally start to move on. you hear him close the car door and then open it again. "hey! you say you're hungry?" you stop the shuffle and slowly turn around. he's walking toward you now. "look, you buy something to eat with this, you hear?" his hand turns out a crumpled fiver. "yessah, thank you. God bless you brother man!" you say as your hand reaches up and hat comes down. he stares you over one more time with a skeptical look, like he's shaking his head inside. you hold the smile as he turns to go, then slowly spin to walk the line. half a block now to sunny's. you shuffle inside and sunny greets you as you tip your hat at the door. he's already got the bottle in the brown paper bag by the time you reach the counter. your hand drops the crumpled fiver. you reach inside your coat to grab the rest of the change. it drops and he pushes the coins together counting to himself. he hands you the bag and you reach out to grab it. your fingers still have no feeling. "hey gus!" sonny shouts out as you turn. "happy new year man..." you try to respond but the cough comes out instead. you raise your fist in a salute and shake it as you walk out the door. "happy new year brother man" you say, inside your head.