ooga!

we open the box
of choices before us and
reach for the best one

(photo courtesy dalton ghetti)

time now for back to school and new shoes...and the endless staring down at them as we walk.

the deck re-shuffles
itself again as we all
search out a new home

all of our planning
stops now as life determines
what will work out here

half-dome epilogue and essential gear round-up

as i have put a little distance between myself and the recent yosemite trip, and pondered the successes and shortcomings of the trip, i have had occasion to review that gear which was absolutely essential to our expedition.
i remember listening to an interview with gary snyder once about his own planning for treks and wanderings. he said that after returning from any journey he would lay out his pack and examine every article he had brought along with him and lay two piles. one with each item he had used, and the other with any unused items on that particular trip. he said this exercise, which he still uses helped him to hone in on what was absolutely essential to his travels, and which items he had simply carried along as dead weight.
using that metric i'd have to say i think we did pretty well. things unused but still necessary included some tools for the bike, a first-aid kit and some leftover food. but some things we didn't have before the trip proved totally essential.
first, I picked up a pair of first rate hiking shoes for both of us. originally I thought I could have made this hike with a pair of converse all-stars, or at the very most a new pair of hiking sandals. but i realize now this would not have been adequate. at rei where we got our shoes, the salewoman tried to upsell us to hiking boots, both more expensive and more constriciting. the shoe turned out for us to be the perfect balance.
second, we both carried hydration day-packs, which again struck a wonderful middle ground. along the way we saw folks with school backpacks and jugs of drinking water, and although this certainly is an option, in the end i think we saved ourselves a lot of grief in carrying a ready water source on our backs, that belted across chest and stomach and gave us maximum freedom and minimum distraction.
and finally we invested in a really good water filter. although the hike to half-dome follows a water route most of the way, and most of that very clean, there is always a small chance of bacteria. in our case as we were coming down the mountain, we found we had completely exhausted our water and ended up having to pump from a very small runoff, that i would have had second thoughts about without that filter. as it was, it tasted refreshing and delicious, and i was love to watch us pull clean drinking water from that muddy trickle.
in a couple years i may make this same journey again with my second son, aaron. hopefully the lessons learned on the first trip will serve us well, and yet still offer enough spontaneity to make the trip fresh all over again.

the material
of design spread before me
in inspiration

there be dragons

between home and work lies a wetland where it's quite common to see these guys, and they routinely are spotted all around the neighborhood. but the other day at work i had to stop to marvel at the size of this one. he'd found himself a nice place to sun against the smooth glass door, and gave me pause to marvel. and as i stared into his deep blue eyes transfixed there for a few moments i was the one who felt very small.

shed no tears for the
memories of yesterday
floating in blue sea

apartment cars 001

i've decided to begin a new feature today on the toastrobot called "apartment cars". it will showcase some of the more interesting and unusual rides from around the complex. so first up, a mid to late 70's dodge van. although it could be a "tradesman", a little probing on the interweb makes me think it may actually be a ram, of first star wars release vintage.
back when i was a kid these elicited one of the following responses. "classy van!" or "run, pervert!" and maybe both on the same date for a lady. the typical customer for these beauties was a guy who was out of high school, working part time and maybe taking some community college classes. he probably wore his keys on his belt along with a pocket knife and sported the requisite moustache. he might have worn cowboy boots or redwings, and although it was the 1970's not the 1950's he may have still elected to stash his smokes in a rolled up t-shirt sleeve.
the van has long been the vessel for the earnest traveler replacing the old covered gypsy wagon as men like bill heat-least moon took to the road during the era.


during the 70's there was a "custom" craze as folks set out to personalize these with wild paint, ladders, venetian blinds, mag wheels, specialty bubble windows and sunroofs. inside if it wasn't actually being used for work you might find shag carpet, swiveling captain's chairs, a mini-bar and maybe even a leopard print love lair. oh, and of course a killer stereo system. yeah, for the young man of no settlement this was his pad.
i haven't met the owner of this beauty that looks a tad neglected. maybe it's just the dirt of the road from a long journey. if i see him around the apartments though maybe i'll stop and get the low down. that is unless this van's a rockin'

sunday is the rest. sunday is the selah.

we altered this world
briefly but found we were changed
by it forever

half-dome part 03

above vernal falls we kept climbing back and forth along the stone. we put in 2 more miles until at last we could hear the roar of another falls. although vernal is the beauty queen, i favor nevada. she makes you work harder and if you duck down close to the shore, provides every bit as good of a mist trail. august tends to produce less spectacular views of these falls, but this year with our record winter and snow pack, a seasoned visitor might have thought it still late may up here.
above nevada things level out for a while. we walk along the trail, the river to our right, and talk about the world around us. chipmunks scurry along the path and singing birds fly over head. jake and i both had these great hydration backpacks that proved indispensable even as they dispensed. as we walked along we simply moved the tubes that hung from the packs to our mouths and were instantly refreshed. i felt like paul maud' dib from "dune" wearing my stillsuit. i was a little dubious at first, thinking they might be overkill, but i can't imagine doing this kind of trip again without one.
we soon reached little yosemite campground. you never know who you will run into up here. i've seen it filled with hippies and wild youth, but this morning there were just some scouts and a few families. as we climbed on, soon needing more frequent rest stops, i began to realize that it wasn't my legs that were getting tired, it was my lungs. the air was thinner up here, and as we pushed higher into the elevation, for flat landers like us it was beginning to show. but soon we had broken out of the forest path that had shaded us and were moving into the really high country now. above the tree line. and as we continued switching back and forth we suddenly came around a corner and behold, half-dome!


as we continued toward our goal i watched the activity of the climbers on the cables. they looked so small, like so many ants scurrying along the hot rock. we did get stopped to show our permits, which thankfully i had secured long in advance. amazing. even up here we had to briefly endure bureaucracy. "paperz! vhere arr yor paperz?!" and now we struggled on. up the steps to sub-dome, the last stop before the cables. lungs really sucking air now. as we hit the cables i, just for a moment had my doubts. i stared up the face, my thirteen year old in front of me. what was i doing here? could he really do this? just days before, a young woman who graduated from my high-school had slipped up here and fallen to her death. and the folks on the cables moving up and down the rock didn't inspire me with confidence either. a third of the way up i hear someone yell "carabiner!" as i looked up to see it go shooting by. someone tried to reach out and grab it. "don't reach for it! let it go" someone else said. indeed it was good advice. as we pushed further up the cables i saw suntan lotion, t-shirts and ball caps littering the rock face. i could just see a foolish move of instinct bringing disaster.


we sat on the cables for what seemed like an hour, patiently waiting as folks moved down beside us, even as we moved up. and then in a final push suddenly we were on top. like the surface of an alien world, we were in fact now on top of the world, at least the world we could survey from here. and now in the open up here i felt free. free from the cramped confines of the cables our crowd seemed to disappear as we all spread out along the dome. along the trail i had remarked to jake about all the films i had seen about teams scaling everest. and the thing that always struck me was that after years of training, months of planning and the several weeks it actually takes to make one of these expeditions, once the climbers reach the summit they are only there for a very short time, as both the day and their bodies are winding down. now i too looked at my watch and realized our own time was short. i didn't want to be walking back in the dark and had to make sure we paced ourselves for the descent.


but for now we had these moments. i presented jake with our flag and a stack of letters from the brotherhood of fellow men welcoming him into our tribe. we read a few but kept looking around. this is why we were here. to touch the sky. to spend a few minutes, an hour maybe up here at the pinnacle.


as we gazed down the steep face we spotted a lead climber coming up. working his way along a route, his rope trailing, we watched as he patiently navigated the hand and footholds. maybe it was the thin air or the adrenaline from the last push, but we both felt like shouting, so we did. we looked around, knowing this was a moment that would pass and both of us ok with that. tomorrow we would be back down on the valley floor listening to the chatter of so many people who hadn't come here, who hadn't shared our ecstasy. we would listen and nod and smile. but in the back of our minds and memory we would still be standing here.

there is a monkey
in the middle of my head
making me mischief

half-dome part 02

after you initially enter the yosemite park there isn't an instantaneous feeling that you have arrived. in fact as we rode those first few miles the whole scene had one of desolation as we saw huge sections of burned out acreage, like riding through a war zone where only the splintered tops of the trees remained. but this was soon replaced as we climbed higher past crane flat, the last gas stop before the valley and then rode through the 3 tunnels. and when we came through the last tunnel now suddenly we were transported. like some land that time has forgotten or protected we were treated to these amazing vistas that left me speechless. each time i have come here i see it in a new and different way. the magnificence and closeness of the towering rock made me feel at once both very insignificant and totally tied in with the Creator.


we followed the signs to our new home for the next 2 nights - curry village. curry is a special place to me. it's always been the home away from home when i've come here. first when i was young and my own dad brought me here, and then as a teenager with my high-school youth group. our tent cabin was a welcome base after being on the bike all day. we unpacked and changed, and then took a walk around the village. it was sunday night and the place was still buzzing with weekend activity. we shared a pizza and sat outside in the amphitheater as half-dome towered in the background. i pointed to it and asked jake if he felt ready to climb it. "i guess so" he replied.


after dinner we walked around the valley spotting deer and coming within a few feet of one doe. i saw the signs for the ahwahnee hotel and wanted to show jake how the other half lived so we walked to it. by now it was getting darker and as we started to head back we caught site of the shuttle stop and decided to take advantage of this great transport system. we boarded with a group in high spirits (from spirits no doubt) who were out for a birthday dinner for one of their group. as we boarded the bus i mentioned that it was in fact jake's birthday the following day. as we rode away from the ahwahnee, the group broke into an impromptu rendition of "happy birthday" for jake as we rode on in darkness.


the following morning we awoke early. we grabbed quick showers and a coffee for me from the lodge, and then were off. curry is about a mile from the trail head, and from there we began the long climb. up first to vernal falls where 3 tourists had met their end only a couple weeks earlier. they had gone over the view railing and were swept away. there was still a missing persons poster nearby with their photos although 2 of the bodies had apparently been pulled out of the river the day before according to the shuttle driver. we said a quick prayer there for them and their families and pushed on. from here at the top of vernal marks the spot where the day tourists separate from those with more serious intentions. nevada falls was our next destination...


(to be continued)

we come here to feel
small beneath the crushing weight
of beauty and smile

half-dome part 01

time now to relay some of our adventure from last week. a week ago sunday we all got up early. the night before i had done all the last minute packing and preparations. although i could have used a few more hours sleep i was excited for the trip. we loaded up the bike and said our goodbyes. and then we were off.
sunday morning is always my favorite time to ride. as all the world still slumbers from the late night saturdays, there is something so very quiet and peaceful on the sunday morning road before the sun has climbed. we headed out the the old hwy 40 route to auburn and then through 49 past cool and on to john sutter's famous mill. we stopped here briefly for water and a cliff bar. jake was feeling a little woozy, and the brief rest and snack helped calm his stomach.
then it was back on the bike to finish out this section of twisties and into old placerville. we stopped again for breakfast here at mel's where our mascot "josh monkey" who belongs to jake's little brother, ordered for us.


after adding some more weight to the bike we pressed on. through nashville and plymouth. past amador and jackson and then stopped again in san andreas for fuel. again josh monkey proved an invaluable traveling companion as he offered to top us off as we took turns using the restroom. we motored on across the beautiful 49 gazing off to our right at one point to catch a full view of mt. diablo in the east before dropping into angel's camp.


past this we continued across the melones reservoir and into sonora. we stopped for lunch at a sandwich and yogurt shop and by this time this main street was crowding up with the summer commuters. after lunch we hopped back on the bike now in the heat of the day and continued. outside sonora we saw the first signs we were getting closer. through chinese camp and on toward groveland. after finishing the long climb up between moccasin and big oak flat we stopped to gas once more.

signs on the road warned of potential 2 hour delays at the entrance to yosemite but never saw them. outside the park entrance we stopped for the obligatory self taken photo. we chatted briefly with the lady ranger at the entrance as we paid our fee and told her why we had come. she was quite impressed that jake would be taking on half-dome as she herself had not yet attempted it. as we rode on now through the beautiful long and windy road secure in the knowledge that we had made it this far, everything felt right, like it had all come together. it was going to be alright now. we had made it...


(to be continued)

the memory of
the wheel spins in my head now
and over again

mastering loss

so i had planned today to share my vintage 1970's and up viewmaster collection and mention the fact that on our recent trip to yosemite i had picked up another 3-pack and looked forward to adding it to the collection.
only, yesterday when i went looking for said viewmaster, and then asking my wife where i might find them in our garage, i got an uncomfortably blank stare back from her. apparently in her last wave of cleaning, the entire lot ended up going to goodwill. now, honestly my first reaction was to completely flip out, as i began to ramp up my disbelief, disappointment and anger. i thought about the long years, countless living situations and roommates i had hauled these around through. the memories of rainy days and sick days, days at our family cabin. the simple joy of stereo-optics. all gone.
but after a few minutes of sucking on that bitter taste i reflected that it was all good. it was after all an accident. my wife had no idea these things meant so much. and a quick trip to e-bay helped to take some of the sting out. there i found the endless closet doors of america and beyond opened up to me if i wished to try and recover some of these lost artifacts.
and knowing that it is available makes the tearing feel less hurtful. so maybe someday and soon i'll make that post again. it's not the losing of the thing that hurts, it's the assault on the memory.

the isolation
of the grid in parallel
with our loneliness

down now from my mountain top experience and back among the aimlessly plodding masses...

this stuff the same stuff
of which it all is made makes
me look closer now

pressing on

so today is my son's birthday, and although we're here today i still wanted to send out a little toastrobot love. think of us today as we climb the long stairway...

(photo courtesy ansel adams)

a drop

we are but a drop of water in free fall. this life will not last. enjoy the ride and let go.

the road to manhood
began here so long ago
now begins again

(photo courtesy mission mission)

trip preparations nearly complete now. just a few niggling details left to take care of and then we're off...

(photo courtesy brickset)

i must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky, and all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by, and the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking, and a grey mist on the sea's face and a grey dawn breaking.

-john masefield

captain's log

another great score from the ongoing "friends of the library" book shelf at our local library. the moby books edition "the mutiny on board h.m.s. bounty" based on the real life account of william bligh's writings at sea and later after returning successfully to england. although the story has been done multiple times by hollywood featuring sympathetic flether christians played by gable, brando and mel gibson, i feel bligh has always been over vilified. sure, he may have been a harsh taskmaster, but he was the captain. and only by wit and providence was he able to survive both the mutiny and the desperate open sea crossing in a small launch. that has to count for something, right?
anyway i loved these books as a boy. the invitation to high adventure on the high seas and mixed with an illustration on every other page, it was a perfect entry point into more classic literature. i read the moby dick version years ago on a long distance driving vacation and the memory of it still is perched in my brain. as we rode through the summer heat of texas i could smell the salt air from the gulf and imagined myself climbing the spars as the ship below me pitched and rolled. and at only 2 quarters for this one i look forward to boarding for another voyage.

we all live here packed
so tightly together screaming
for our freedom

all we need is here

so i've been busy lately trying to sort out this trip i'm taking with my oldest son next week. he's turning 13 and to celebrate we'll be motoring up to yosemite on the beem together and hiking half-dome. it promises to be a lot of fun and a little challenging.
one of the challenges will be packing only essential items for the trip. unlike in a car we won't have the luxury of bringing a bunch of stuff, and only later find it unnecessary. these bags will have to hold the majority of what we bring on our 3 day journey. and i like this constraint because it is forcing me to evaluate everything now very scrupulously and hold it up to the bright light of judgement.
in the end though it won't matter. what we have is all we'll have needed. the trip will conform itself to our resources. and whatever we think we lack we'll just have to pick up along the way...